Our Enemy the State

I’m borrowing this title from one of my favorite books.


For a long time I haven’t supported the government’s role in marriage because of the inequality for same-sex partners, but it had never affected me personally until today.

Last week I filled out the fifty or so pages of forms necessary to begin Shelley’s and my divorce and submitted them for review before mailing them to Shelley.

I got them back today saying we can’t waive any declarations of p/alimony or child support. It didn’t matter that I was the one who could seek “maintenance” and that I also happened to be the one filing the papers and I made it perfectly clear that this wasn’t something I was interested in. They don’t care that we both agreed to take care of the kids independently while they were in our care. They are demanding to know when they will be with whom, who will provide their health insurance… and a shit load of other things that aren’t any of their damn business.

I think I’ll talk to Shelley about having our written pre-divorce separation agreement papers expanded and sent through lawyers. Fuck them. I don’t plan on ever remarrying and we can work out the tax issues between ourselves. [/rant]

Published in: on April 10, 2011 at 5:53 pm  Comments (8)  

Um Yeah.

I thought I’d let the friends who’s only contact with me is through this blog know that I co-authored the saddest thing I ever wrote today:

We wanted to let those of you, who we didn’t already personally contact, know that we (Jay and Shelley) are separating and getting a divorce. For many years our lifestyles have been diverging, and we have come to a point where neither of us can be truly happy while we are together. Shelley will be returning to Durango where she has a much higher chance of finding the type of work that she finds fulfilling. Jay will be staying in The Gulch where he will continue to write and explore the boundaries of modern self-sufficiency. Though there is a lot of pain, this divorce isn’t coming from a place of anger or hurt; but rather from feelings of affection and love towards each other, and a realization that we both would have done anything for the others’ happiness except to live in a way that we would never be happy.

Published in: on February 7, 2011 at 10:25 pm  Comments (19)