Why I Support a Flat Tax…Again

Since Montana has slipped back into winter and I can’t work outside and detailing Roberta (the wood cook stove) took only two days here’s a lil’ agitatin’ for you all.

A long long time ago, it seems like last century…Oh yeah, it was, I thought the idea to tax everyone at the same rate was kind of clever and definitely fairer than the graduated/sliding scale madness we had…Still have. This was back before I realized taxation was nothing more than pimped out robbery.

Theft, plain old fashioned gun in your face theft is all taxation is. Sure the guys who ultimately show up holding the guns have tin badges… even though now days you won’t see them because when they show up they will be wearing all black and have nothing shiny on. In a most revealing case of irony they will also be wearing those same types of masks bank robbers wear. They won’t scream “your money, or your life,” because if they have come they will be collecting them both.

They will steal every cent you have, either through fines and penalties or through the money you will have to pay a lawyer in an attempt to avoid switching what little freedom you still have for a florescent orange jumpsuit. They will take all your money. An excellent Randian argument can be made that by taking the fruits of your labor they have taken your life, but these bastards aren’t kidding around they will take the whole lump sum, if you stop voluntarily giving them the payments.

I haven’t read the SWAT team manual so this is all deduced from actual events involving them; however their first rule after breaking down the door in the middle of the night is to shoot the family dog. If the family lacks a dog, they will kick the cat, bludgeon the parrot or asphyxiate the family’s pet fish. This is a critical step in informing the citizen that they have made a bad tax decision. This procedure has replaced the old fashioned “Police, open up,” statement. If the home owner makes any attempt to protect their property or family the tax collectors will shoot them, dead, usually in front of their spouse and kids.

I might have gotten a little carried away there and provided more information than the average American wants to hear, but I wanted to explain exactly how hard it was for me to embrace any type of taxation again. Now, I will explain exactly why I do support a Flat Tax … again, and also explain that for the exact reason that I support it is why it will never ever happen.

A mind numbingly large percentage of this country actually makes money…wait that’s the wrong phrasing…receives stolen money because of our current tax system. Like the pimps that live near some of them, when April 15th comes around they aren’t complaining about deductions or 1099s all they are thinking is “Bitch had better have my money.” In this case…like most cases involving the government, you, the tax payer, are the bitch.

But my good reader is probably still wondering why I have gone back to supporting a flat tax. Some I won’t name names (like Kirsten or FF) have probably made mental if not actual written “smack down notes” as they have read this because of the title.

So here’s the beef….the meat….the whole enchilada; I want those inner-city, hillbilly and suburban hand-out sucking non-productive leechlike members of society as pissed off as I am. Not only would this make me feel a sense of justice has returned to my life, but a pissed off section of population that has nothing to lose is exactly what we need right now.

Change didn’t come from electing a black president. Hell, it wouldn’t have mattered if the president was a black lesbian woman who was born in Mali. The government’s only desire is to preserve the status quo, they don’t want change. If you want to see change like this country hasn’t seen since the 1700’s picture it with a flat tax…picture what all those welfare queens would do if instead of receiving thousands of dollars a year they had to start paying taxes.


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4 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. So funny. So true. I hear ya my friend!

  2. Why not a consumption tax so that for items beyond the basics (produce, meat, dairy, and other items necessary to daily living) people pay based on how much they consume?

    • A use tax makes more sense….kind of like actually purchasing a service….like the free market.

  3. Just wondering. I tend to favor either consumption or flat, but I don’t think either one will happen in our lifetime. It’s too tempting for politicians to use taxes as a form of paternalism.

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