I Think Walt Disney Has Possessed Me

A couple of nights ago I had a dream that I was sitting at a table in a coffee shop with Cindy Crawford, the woman that plays Electra, an old High School friend of the female persuasion and my wife. Now, this dream could have taken some really pleasant turns involving lace, vinyl, scented oils and rubber sheets (but no Ol’ Walt doesn’t “roll” that way and) my wife starts going on about how I haven’t been keeping in touch with old friends. I’ve never been on a personal basis with Cindy Crawford or Jennifer Garner, that’s not saying I’d turn them away if they showed up late one light on my doorstep, mind you. But, that old high school friend and I even spent a summer traveling through Europe (with a group) and I thought of us as good friends. As will happen, I haven’t seen or spoken with her since high school.

[Tinny, if you are reading this I suggest you skip the next paragraph]

When we shrugged we followed the 90/10 rule on privacy, well actually we considered going all the way with LLCs or Trusts. We even converted our assets into anonymous financial instruments for this but along the way decided it was too much work and settled on the 90/10. Anyway with the snooping powers the government has been taking over the last five years (what Fourth Amendment?) I feel any privacy shielding we once had against the government has been corrupted. I’m not aware of anyone who might be looking to “settle up” with me, and even if there was I feel I could more than handle them. So, I did something I didn’t think I’d ever do, I joined one of those popular social networking what-have-yous to try to get in touch with some of the people I once considered friends.

I wasn’t able to find the girl I was trying to find but did find “S” who was once a friend of mine also and we start trying to catch up on almost twenty years. She seems to be doing well for herself, mind you she doesn’t seem to have had as interesting time as myself since the old school days (sorry, honey). I guess somewhere in my subconscious I get this silly idea that it’s worse than I thought, and she was fibbing about being married (I’m guessing this came from the lack of husband pictures). Here is where that bastard Walt takes over my sleeping moments again. Last night I dreamt “S” and I were at a really fancy party….actually it was exactly like a Disney Ballroom party. Now, I knew she had made up this husband story so I decided to work a little charm and find her a man. As I was talking up what an awesome gal she was to whom I thought was the best guy there(myself excepted of course) I noticed she was doing the exact same thing to this stunning little redhead on my behalf. We look at each other realization dawning on each of us and both say at the exact same moment (Walt was probably holding the cue cards himself) “Wait, you really are married”. After the laugh track and singing blue birds finished……………OK, those didn’t happen but should have. We round up our respective spouses and all head out to get some dinner and drinks.

I told this dream to my wife this morning and all she says is “I suppose you’re going to go Blog about what an awesome guy you are.” I smile and said I would but I don’t think I could do myself justice.

Published in: on June 12, 2009 at 8:31 pm  Leave a Comment  
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