What if the rest of the world is really filled with fucking idiots? I’d be the last to know since I’ve always had the biggest ego since jesus. I’ve always thought this was a possibility, but thought it was just my perspective. Lately I’ve been hearing stories from the inner city from friends of friends. (Thanks Bucky) Most of the people I associate with killed their T.V. long ago knowing it’s nothing but a mental leech. T.V. really took the place of the Church years ago. People who choose to look away, or blatantly refuse to accept the harsher facts have always looked for an out…………I’m too tired to continue with this right now…….but as a consolation prize I will pull this from the vault. For those that made wise-cracks about being powered by ethanol here is what happens when I feed it though the super-charger.


Few people know I went to military school. Even less, less than I can count on my fingers know I was destined for West Point and MI. That was until me and those “superior” to me discovered I had issues with authority.
I was the only one who in the history of my academy rebelled by doing my 50 pull-ups prior to my then leisurely smoke instead of sneaking and worrying about being caught. They had no set guidelines for “hey Sarg. I’m going for a smoke do you want the 50 now or when someone catches me.” Their alternative methods like Midnight P.T. didn’t hold a candle to my childhood, but that is a tangent I don’t wish to take at this time. They were at a complete loss; luckily it wasn’t destined for them to have to solve this conundrum. I would be gone before the end of the next semester which included my Eighteenth birthday and they knew that as well as I did.
Out of the many paths I could go from these first paragraphs it won’t be what a reader expects. But, I needed to put some history before what I’m about to say. Unlike Simon on Firefly I have no impressive statics to parrot. I will say I consider myself an expert on strategy. There is a Chess Master who I use to play (and occasionally beat) who would agree, and then there are the government testers whom I never put any stock in.
Like Paul Atraties I could see well into the future, and like him I’ve lost my sight. I don’t know what lies more than three or four months out. This scares the shit out of me. I feel like one of those people who has been placed in a sensory depuration chamber. Maybe I can’t accept the horrors and part of me is screaming about will come to be, and I’m foolishly rejecting it. Like Paul I’d risk my life to see again.
The worst part is my lovely wife whom I could always count on for a brainstorm secession that would lead to enlightenment seems enable to prompt the answers. My good friend who has even less formal education than me, but who at least equals me in common sense and was always helpful is almost 1000 miles away. I yearn for a chance to be surrounded by those who can fathom where we are going. I’m tired, too tired to continue to take the lead.

Published in: on January 12, 2009 at 2:28 am  Comments (8)  
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8 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Interesting, as far as I could follow you … Dude, seriously, sometimes spelling makes the difference between compelling prose and unintelligible manglings that were supposed to be sentences. though the super-charger is a mild example.

    More seriously, WTF do you mean in this sentence?
    The worst part is my lovely wife whom I could always count on for a brainstorm secession that would lead to enlightenment seems enable to prompt the answers.

    Now, my success at romantic relationships ain’t been that great, but even I know not to call my other half “the worst part”.

    I find a lot of your ideas and observations quite thought-provoking, but trying to pick them out of your writing is really challenging. Can you and K resume the English sheets, please?


  2. Sunni… I think one of the keys to this post is the first tag that is listed ‘drunken ramblings’

    p – it’s hard to not see what is going on around us and what is coming down the line. Concentrate on the house, your family, the lovely friends you have close by and those far away. Do what you can to prepare, but as bff would say, “have fun, be free”! You can’t change/fix everything – concentrate on what you can do.

  3. Thanks, Dare—I did see that, but some things are just fun to poke. (And more seriously, too frequently it’s hard to tell sober p from drunk and rambling p, at least in writing. Hey, somebody has to have the job of trying to keep his ego in check, right? 😉 )

  4. Nothing funny or any thing here to joke about or poke fun of. I see no joke here. It’s easy to give up a way of life to pursue a dream. It’s another thing to actually live it. After a while, your “dream” may ware you out to the point of frustration, maybe anger.

  5. The joke isn’t here, per se; and I don’t know that it can rightly be called an inside joke, either, since probably anyone who knows p can see it.

    I know the subject is serious, and I do take it seriously; that’s part of why it being a hard-to-follow drunken rambling wasn’t helpful.

  6. it’s hard to tell sober p from drunk and rambling p

    There’s a sober p?!?


  7. Hey buddy, I’ve never left my pistol, wallet, and cell phone at someones party………… least all at once. 😛

  8. Ele….. Yea, I might be having problems accepting what is coming, but at least I haven’t changed to the point that I consider taking stolen tax monies a good thing, like our common friend…….Who is quickly running out of friend points. Seriously, what happened to the guy who use to make fun of the fucking idiots who thought money was free?

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