Goat case II

I forgot to post some of the highlights of this battle.

How the Grinch stole the Christmas pony
By John Galt

Every dude down in P-burg liked animals a lot, but the Grinch who lived just north of Broadway did not.

The Grinch hated animals, like they were all guilty of treason. Please don’t ask why, no one quite knew the reason.

Perhaps his pants were too tight, or his head wasn’t screwed on just right.

It could even be his ego required more people to bow. But what ever the reason, he stood at his door hating that cow.

With a sour cranky frown. He declared “somebody must change this town.

My time to move is practically here. I must find a way to get the animals not so near.

For soon I know the realtors will come by ones and twos. But the moos moos moos, the one thing that will lower my price the most are the moos.

Oh these beasts I can’t stand in the least.

For 65 years I’ve put up with animals and now this darn cow. I must get rid of them but how?”

Then he got an idea, an awful idea, a wonderful, sneaky, awful idea appeared with a gleeful ha ha, “I know just what to do, I will make a new law”.

My neighbor will vote with me any day, if I tell him it’s the government way.

The barber will be harder seeing as the family owns a bay, but him I can sway.

He chuckled and clucked, with this law and my sneaky plan. I will make P-burg just like Bozeman.

Jackie Butler’s pet cow will need to go, then the arrogant goats owners I know.

Even with the new law I’ll need a reason that is phony, to take the little Comings girl’s Christmas pony.

Then with my next law I will make the plot thicken, when I take the sheriffs chickens.

It will require some finesse but Vietors steers will become less.

I’ve already done away with the hogs, very soon I’ll be able to get all the dogs.

Cats and hamsters and birds too, yes that’s what I’ll do.

And then something will need to be done about all these loud kids, if I trapped and sold them how would I solicit bids.

And the more the Grinch thought about all he planned to do, the less he cared if it was greeted by a boo, or a boo hoo hoo.

The good people of P-burg need to look at what the Grinch took, when that stupid law was added to the book.

May 2, 2007

Response to Notice to Abate Nuisance

TO: Stephen Immenschuh, Sheriff
Box 188
Philipsburg, Montana 59858

I received your letter and would like a chance to respond. I realize you are a busy man and would probably prefer to spend your time on more important issues than this, but I realize your priorities are sometimes shuffled by political pressures in the community.

It is my assertion that my chickens are out of town limits while they range on private property, and since there isn’t even a “Town Limits” sign on Broadway near where the supposed infractions have occurred. I feel it would be in the towns best interest to have a State certified surveyor determine the exact boundary. The town attorney would need to document this as well if he chooses to push forward with this petty frivolous matter.

Until we have an exact boundary determined I have spoken harshly to my flock and told them not to wander too far to the East. All but one have said they would do their best to comply. The lone dissenter was my Big Cock who said old fat joggers should be less busy-body guinea hens, mind their own clucking business, and let simple honest folk pursue their own lives.


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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Very good! And right in line with Town Code 5-2A-15(which for some reason was not included with the copy you and the Butlers received from Immenschul). It’s interesting how it kind of surfaced with the new codification.It fits in with what you said about the “Grinch”. If he wants, he can have 3/4 of the town ticketed. Or at least those he doesn’t like.
    5-2A-15: RESIDENCE RESTRICTION: It is hereby declared to be a nuisance,and it shall be unlawful to keep any animals,fowl or birds,wild or domestic,within twenty five feet(25′)of any building,school,church,hospital or any residence or dwelling house or other buildings used for the habitation of human beings.(1972 Code)

  2. WTF, so they think they can just usurp the rights of people just bordering the town. This makes me sick.

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